POEM: THIS BIRD IS LIKE A CHILD

Do you set your mind to wonder why the caged bird sings? Its gentle song from a captured heart and helpless little wings. This bird is like a child who is encircled by sheer fight. A little one whose heart is cold from hiding in the night. Each night they beg tearfully their hope and…

DISTRACTING YOURSELF FROM SELF INJURY

The reality of self harm is that it is not always the “Emo” teen, wearing all black and sporting home done tattoos. The reality of self harm is that it takes on many shapes and sizes, it affects the young, and the older alike. Self harm does not care if you are a busy student,…

WHERE DO YOU FIT, IF YOU DON’T FIT IN?

A simple question innocently asked by my son, “Mum, did you fit in when you were my age?”. The flood of painful emotions that washed over me and threatened to overwhelm me was shocking. The truth is that “No. I did not fit in at your age. I have not really fit in anywhere, at…

TO MY FRIEND, I DON’T KNOW YOU IN REAL LIFE, BUT…

To my friend I don’t know you in real life, and you don’t know me either, but that doesn’t really mean much in the Land of the Internet. We are friends through a virtual world, one where we share the best parts and sometimes the worst parts, of our lives. I know that you are…

POEM: STANDING IN THE DARKNESS

I am standing in the darkness The pain is swirling ‘round It pools around my naked feet I feel that I may drown. It’s not the type of drowning That many minds may think It is the type that fills your soul With tears you can not weep. Tears of moments long since gone Memories…

WHAT IS THE FIGURATIVE MASK, WHY DO I WEAR ONE?

The figurative mask – what is it and why do so many of us wear one? Probably more importantly for this exercise, why do I wear one? And why is it so important to me? I wear a mask, one that makes me appear to be strong and capable, cheerful, outgoing, warm, nothing bothers the…

THEY ARE SMALL WINS WHEN YOU HAVE CHRONIC PAIN

Who knew that one week pain free was considered a huge win by the medical profession? I did not, they are small wins when you have chronic pain! Two weeks ago I had nerve block injections at the base of my skull into my left and right side Occipital nerves. This included both the lesser…

HOW PRAYER ASSISTS IN RECOVERY

I am a Christian who suffers from mental health problems and chronic pain. At times I’ve found myself feeling lost and questioning both the strength of my faith and my own worthiness. It was something I felt alone with, but it turned out many others have felt downhearted themselves too and turned to me with…

SOMETIMES ACHIEVEMENT FEELS LIKE FAILURE

It is my anniversary today. Today marks 100 days since I last self harmed, it is a milestone that a few months ago I couldn’t have imagined having. 100 days with no cuts or burns, 100 days of better coping skills for my emotions, 100 days of success. It should be something to celebrate. But…

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

It can be hard to know what to say to someone when they confide in you about their mental health problems – even as someone who lives with my own issues I sometimes need to pull myself up from saying something that could be hurtful instead of helpful. I hope it would be obvious to…

FEELING POISONED BY MY SENSE OF HONOR

Honor. Noun: The quality of knowing and doing what is morally right. Synonyms: Integrity, honesty, uprightness, ethics, principles, noble, virtue, goodness, decency, fairness, justice, faithfulness. Most living creatures have some sense of honor, a personal pride of doing what is right and fair and just. I have it, you (most likely) have it, but my…

I JUST WANT TO STAY HOME AND HIDE AWAY

People laugh and think I’m joking when I smile and confess that if it weren’t for my bevy of doctors appointments and Christian worship, that I would happily never leave the house. Sometimes they will hear the ring of truth and set about trying to convince me that I am wrong, afterall, I’m a friendly…