A couple of days ago I heard my phone buzz as a message came in, it was from one of my newest (yet closest) friends, Simone. She is doing The Mighty challenge and journaling each day for the month of January (you can check out her raw and honest writing at her blog – www.simonelisa.com). One of the prompts she was going to write about this week was to write a letter to your future self, and then to write a letter to someone you admire. When she told me this a few days ago, I assumed she would write it to someone famous, influential, talented, smart. In a million years I never thought I would receive this:
As you can see, I just wrote a letter to my future self. Then I read that I need to write a letter to someone I admire – and you know who popped into my head first and foremost? You! Yes – you my friend!!
Thank you for being at the clinic when I turned up looking all haggard and lost last year. I am sorry that it was necessary for you to be there, but from a purely selfish point of view, I am glad you were. And thank you for being the first person to speak to me! [Well – aside from the staff… But they were paid to talk to me!]
I am grateful for your friendship but more importantly, I am inspired by your progress. And a teency bit green with envy. You have had such overwhelming trauma in your young life [yes – your young life, no matter what you might think!] and for you to make such a dramatic turnaround in such a short period of time is nothing short of inspirational.
Now I know you will tell me all the things you get wrong, and all the things that still need fixing, but just for a moment look at yourself from my point of view. You are amazing.
So as we journey together on this little road of recovery ups and downs. No matter how far forward, back or sideways you go, I will always be here. And I have absolute trust in you to be there for me. So that is something worth it’s weight in gold.
I see wonderful things for you in the future – not just in a week or a month, but in a decade. I know you can’t picture yourself in a decade and when you try it scares the bejeezers out of you – but I can see you. And you’re beautiful. And glowing. And it’s all worth it. It’s not perfect – no actual rainbows and unicorns I’m afraid – but it’s real and it’s great.
So chin up – no matter how many times we fall over, we get back up. Things that seemed impossible yesterday have now come true. Things that seem impossible today are just around the corner. Reach for the stars lovely girl and see how much you grow.
I was so incredibly touched that I cried. Those days when you question your purpose, your use, your abilities, they are hard and they can make you start to question your own progress. That was where I was this day, feeling a burden, feeling lost, most certainly I was not feeling like I was strong or inspirational.
That generous and sincere letter from my dear friend, it lifted me up, all the things she told me I do for her, she did for me, just by telling me that she appreciates having me in her life, reminding me that she believes in me.
We met in hospital where we had both been admitted for care due to our mental health deteriorating dangerously. I never knew that I was the first person to talk to her other than the staff, but I knew when I saw her that she looked as lost and frightened as I felt, and immediately I thought we may be friends. What I didn’t expect was that she would become one of my closest confidants in such a short period of time. We quickly bonded over shared experiences and I was so thankful to have met someone I felt so comfortable and safe talking to.
When it came time for me to leave we exchanged numbers and have stayed in contact on very regular (mostly daily) basis ever since.
This lady is amazing, she is sweet, kind, and exceptionally generous with all she has. She is also very discerning and empathetic, a true friend to have. She struggles deeply with her own depression, anxiety, self-harm, suicidal ideation, and eating disorder which she openly and honestly talks about on her blog, but she never ever uses her own pain as an excuse to ignore that of others, instead choosing to build them up.
I certainly feel blessed to have met such a lovely lady at one of the darkest times of my life. And I will never forget how receiving her letter made me feel so encouraged and humbled. Thank you, my friend!